When is enough, enough?

I had a conversation with someone recently about the memorials that we make for someone after they die, specifically where that person may have past.  They thought possibly that there should be a law about how long those memorials should be allowed to stay there.  Lets put aside the "sensitivity chip" that this person may or may not lack.  This is not the first time I have heard this be said.  I feel like it needs to be made perfectly clear before i go on. Who are we, to tell someone how long it takes them to grieve? We don't, right.  Moving on,  For centuries the human race has been mourning or celebrating life which ever way makes them happy.  I find this one of the ways that makes  us who we are, how we handle grief.  When someone dies, we put a gravestone. These gravestones, stay there.  No one says "Well! thats enough of that!" and makes the family take it down.  I don't want to hear the argument, "but this is a cemetary, thats what is supposed to be there."  When we starting bury our loved ones, it was in our back yards, or where ever that person was happiest.  Needless to say there is something that needs to be said here.  I think with this tech age we are in, we have all lost a little bit of this sensitivity chip.  We dont grow close to people on a personal level, its through texting and facebook, twitter.  When someone passes away the new gravestone or memorial is their facebook page.  This is nice, you don't need to have that awkward moment when you run into someone else at the gravestone and now they see you not at your best like in your profile pic.  They see the real you, this can not happen.  


When you break up with someone you don't need to see the tears in their eyes, or to witness their heart break right in front of you.  You don't feel it! You never will.  So of course now you think all these memorials are in the way, they make you think of things.  You can't delete, you can't hide what you don't want to see.  We love this control don't we? This life management, we don't see what we don't want to see, we can backspace things we might not really want to say, but it makes us feel better to type it out and pretend.  I have panic attacks, i know all about not wanting anyone to see the real me.  But after a convo with this person and realizing how sad they must be. I will not become this person, its sad.


So here is the challenge...cry.  Not because you are sad, because you are alive, because you can! Scream! I mean yell when someone upsets you, because you are alive, because you can! Laugh not because something is funny, because something awkward happened, because you are alive, and because you can.


And make memorials, keep them up, visit them, miss those that have passed.  Never let someone tell you enough is enough. Because you are alive, and because you can!