"Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting"
Here is the picture...19 years old, lving in a small town, trying to find a way to live. Just lost a soul mate, best friend, and confidant in one try. Not bad huh? Her whole life was built around pleasing "family" no not what we all consider family. Most grew up knowing that family is something that we make. Right? Its the people we surround ourselves with, the people who make us feel safe. Take care of us. Wrong! Not according to what she learned. Family was your mother father and sisters. THATS IT!... "No you can't go out with your friends, your sisters are enough. They won't be around for much longer anyways" or "What do you mean your upset because you and ***** are in a fight?!?! Who cares? That isn't what matters in life" How long do you think this can go on before a person will start to actually believe it?
One night after years of this torture she gets away. She had just broke up with her boyfriend, she had been with him for 4 years. This was just another break she told herself. He will come back, and she will let him. She goes to a party, no one is there to tell her no, no one is there to say that these people don't care about her. Maybe they do...maybe they dont doesn't matter at this point. (just breath little girl, your not ready for this). She sees her best guy friend. So she thought. They have a few drinks, he leads her to his room, she knows she doesn't want this. She wants him back, she just can't process what was happening. ( stop! he isn't him, he won't take his place) They fall to the bed, and she wakes up the next morning. alone. (ok, go home)
This is when her world falls apart. Who's wouldn't? He tells....everyone. Her soul mate can't even stand the sight of her, she cant stand the sight her.
"I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying"
She can't breath. You know that feeling, where the is no air, none. She is gasping, and the world just keeps spinning, people keep moving. She is slowing losing sight of who she is, who she wanted to be, and who she was supposed to be, all in one shot. She is reaching out, but there is no one there, they all think she is a drug addict, must be right? She can't get out of bed, she doesn't eat, she drives to the middle of no where and calls her father. "im lost"
"I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time
To go round and round and round"
The anger sets in. Where is this family? "they've all given up on you" Where is my mind " You're not yourself anymore" Who the FUCK are you? "dad"
Weeks are passing, she is fading. No one notices that maybe there is something really wrong. Maybe she isn't a drug addict, maybe she really does have something else going on. NO ONE. So she gives up on them this time.
"It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell, can't bring myself
To do what it is you think I should"
So she pushes forward, she reunites with that friend she was told wouldn't stick around. You know the one that the family would be more important than. They have fun, they laugh. She tells her that he is gone, they both are gone. They can't hurt her anymore. She begins to breath a little more, she can stand without help, she can get out of bed. The tears are being wiped from her face. Her darkness is still there.
"I know you said
Can't you just get over it??
It turned my whole world around
And I kinda like it"
She can feel it all coming back, people are asking questions, her phone is ringing. "can't you just get over it?" no. no i can't. She just wants things to stay the way they are. better. Then she meets him, the saying "you can't love someone unless you love yourself" in this case did not apply. He would make her love herself. He was a beautiful disaster just like her, he had his demons, but he would still smile. And he was smiling at her, for the first time in years, he was noticing her. No matter how invisible she made herself, he could see her. Now she kinda likes it!
"I made my bed and I sleep like a baby"
The fun has begun, the laughter the play, the adventures, they have begun. They have yet to stop. After a few months, the real miracle arrives. The little boy. The little blonde hair blue eyed boy, who loves them both more than any of them ever did. This little boy is her soul mate, he always was her soul mate. He saved her! Her new family, and her friend. they saved her. Because if this didn't happen, she would never have made it another year, another hour, another minute.
"Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting"
